Welcome to one of my specialties as a tarot professional: Giving homework to my clients that they didn’t even realize they needed to do and definitely didn’t ask for as they seek answers to the questions they’ve asked of the cards! If you’ve had a read by me you very likely know what I mean. Now, over the years, “shadow work” has become a buzzword in spiritual communities and it’s often used for a lot of nonsense that it isn’t.

It can often be a challenge to figure out what exactly it is one should be working on in the range of shadow work, especially when you’re just starting on the path. I’ve long found tarot to be a very useful tool for digging up those things I don’t want to admit or face but need to confront and move through, and I discovered the Children of Litha Tarot to be an exceptionally wonderful deck for digging down into the soul of the matter. When I went through my personal burnout I made an effort to reconnect with my cards that had spent far too much time neglected in about the decade before then. I’d occasionally pick them up and maybe do a draw here or there for friends or myself, but not nearly to the levels I really wanted to. Over the next few years, especially after I discovered that particular deck, a new style of reading the cards started to develop for me, and I knew it was one to be shared with others struggling to find the connection between their shadow and their light and live the full balance of themselves. My prompts aren’t a simple “Who hurt you?” but rather one prompt is a deep dive of questions and reflections and ways to take your answers forward and make something new from them. My prompts encourage seekers to ask “Where is the disconnect and how do I make it connect?” This puts me in mind of Peter Pan chasing down his shadow and sewing it back on instead of allowing it to run unchecked. Our shadows and darkness are part of us, too, and are part of finding our wholeness.

Of course, a gentle reminder before we start that I am simply a guide here and not a licensed therapist or related professional. Nothing should be considered equal to or in replacement of work that is best done with licensed mental health professionals, though the prompts I offer can certainly be a great jumping off point for people who regularly engage with a therapist. If you find yourself in need of that type of assistance, please reach out to your trusted local professionals.

Shadow Work for Mercury Retrograde

In general, Mercury Retrogrades are times where we revisit the past, for good or for…well…maybe not as good. The most common experience and joke around Mercury’s retrogrades is hearing from past romantic exes, and reminders from spiritual folks and astrologers you follow to not text your ex (unless you’re like me, and demi, and still close friends with the people you’ve dated in your past–I’m always in regular communication with them regardless of the cosmos)! It’s usually not the best idea to do anything that requires travel or signing contracts or that relies on heavy communication or technology, as those are things often negatively affected in Mercury Retrograde periods. Protect yourself and use discretion when making big decisions during these retrogrades!

Tips for Successful Shadow Work Integration

• Follow the prompts as completely as possible! Each prompt I offer includes things to consider in your journaling that will help you integrate your discoveries into your life and either move you forward or allow you to move through them.
• Each prompt I offer asks something very different of you. Once you work through the prompt, brainstorm how you might be able to use this new awareness in your life or current situations.
• Learn to accept and love even the parts of you that are painful to face. Accept you were at one time this person, and forgive yourself as necessary.
• In situations where others have hurt you know that you don’t have to forgive those people, but you must come to terms with the reasons why you do not choose to forgive them. Take time to come to terms with those reasons and let their hold on you dissolve as you do.
• Work to make amends to people in situations where you have been the person at fault. Understand that just as you may not be able to forgive those who have hurt you, those you have hurt may choose not to forgive you. You cannot tie your growth to their personal autonomy.
• Take care of yourself! This is difficult self-care work you are doing–treat yourself for doing the hard thing! Find a special way to unwind after you complete your deep-dives into the work: maybe a relaxing bubble bath, or your favorite frozen coffee drink, or a special sweet treat you love and don’t often indulge in, or maybe a new book, or perhaps a movie or lunch date with yourself. This can be as simple or as big as you choose for it to be.

The Draw

Now…let’s move on to the good stuff! I drew this prompt for the collective of my followers to give you structure as you revisit and work to move forward again. As soon as I drew the cards I shared with a group I’m in that if I did not know it was a retrograde in Pisces before, these cards may have tipped me off, as we’re leaning heavy into that emotional Cups energy with this one. As I mentioned and linked above, these cards are drawn from the Children of Litha Tarot by Xia Hunt.

Five of Cups and Four of Cups

In general, the Five of Cups represents being caught up on what’s gone wrong in the past instead of looking forward to what is waiting ahead for you. The Four of Cups suggests you might be feeling stuck and disillusioned and not particularly motivated to make that shift between the past and the future.

Questions to ask to get unstuck and make the shift:

• What things in my past am I currently fixating on?
  • What emotions are those events/situations bringing up?
  • Why might I be fixating on these particular things?
• What are some things I can do to bring resolution to these situations?
  • If there is no resolution to them, what are things I can do to bring peace to myself in relation to them?
• What am I ignoring ahead of me by staying focused on this past instead?
• What steps can I take that will help me shift my focus and make progress on these things ahead of me?

All the best, and happy shadow work-ing!

The story of my path to becoming a modern priestess of Persephone spans the course of about thirty years, so for now I’ll just hit the key points on my journey.

The Introduction

So how did the Olympian and Chthonic deities reach out to me initially? Mr. Gilbert’s sixth grade Social Studies class. Like many middle schoolers we had a section on world religions, and while I believe a few stories from the mythos were told the only one that I clearly remember learning from that section was the story of Persephone and Hades and how Demeter brought winter to the world while searching for Her daughter, and how Persephone consumed a certain number of pomegranate seeds, and that was the story the Greeks told of why the seasons changed. That unit and that story never left me. I’m reasonably certain we covered the story of Athena and Poseidon and how Athena won patronage of Athens, but Athena really made Her hold on me known later that year when we read an abridged version of The Odyssey, and then I went on to devour the complete version. Of course, this isn’t the story of Athena and me, though I’ll be certain to tell that story sometime down the road, too.

The Initiation

When I recently posted about accepting my call to the priestesshood with a particular group of my witchy and spiritual friends and acquaintances one friend shared a lovely article on one woman’s initiation experience. I started reading it feeling a little sad and a little jealous of the author. I started seriously studying witchcraft and the resurgence of ancient religions back in the late 90s and dedicated myself to the magic(k)al path of life at 16 years of age. I joined (and later grew into leadership of) the on campus pagan group in my college years. Throughout all of this I yearned for a teacher to share knowledge with me, a group with my same interests and expectations to learn and grow in practice with, and for a resounding understanding of which pantheon was my pantheon–and I always felt forgotten by the universe when it never materialized. Whenever I tried again to ask for a teacher I always somehow got the message of “But why? You are the teacher.” That always seemed so ridiculous to me. How could I possibly be the teacher when I had nobody teaching me? (Spoiler Alert: Little did I realize how much I had the universe and life teaching me, and how my devotion and practice would grow around all of that.)

After reading the article in question I sat with it, and I sat with my sadness and jealousy, and I realized…but I did have an initiation of sorts, even if I didn’t realize at the time what it was. In my second year of college, and my second year with the on campus pagan group, we were planning our annual Samhain ritual. We had made the decision to write and perform a sacred spiral drama for our ritual that year, and we chose the descent of Persephone to the Underworld and Her taking of the mantle as Queen beside Hades. I know I have a copy of the ritual somewhere, and if I manage to find it I may just post it for you all sometime. I remember our version being more personal choice by Her than the traditional kidnapping story, and that rang so much truer to me. (One day I’ll write a post on how many modern devotees have been given that same insight from Persephone. A promised/arranged marriage, but an active and enthusiastic choice to follow the arrangement made and to walk the destined path and step into Her power as a ruler and equal to Hades rather than the story of force told by the men who wrote the original mythologies.) Because I had always had such an affinity for Persephone I requested and was assigned the role of Persephone for the ritual drama. When we invoked the deities honored and offered the invitation for Them to join us, Persephone absolutely joined through me. My memories of the ritual feel so out-of-body, and when I remember it I can see it more from an outside perspective than from within my own body–almost displaced. Looking back from where I stand now I recognize that this was the true start of my education into priestesshood, and this was my initiation as Her devotee and future priestess.

Accepting My Place with the Olympians

For what felt like so many years I struggled to find the pantheon that was mine. I had affinities for assorted deities in various traditions, I had a deep love for certain sets of mythologies, and deep down I knew there was something special about the Hellenic deities and stories that rang familiar and true to me. I denied it for ages feeling like I should feel more of a connection with the mythologies of my blood ancestors. In my senior year of college I had the honor of dramaturging one of my absolute favorite shows–Mary Zimmerman’s Metamorphoses. One day before rehearsals started, as I was starting my breakdowns for the cast, I was rereading the script for at least my tenth time (probably more like my 20th) and this feeling of knowing and immense peace came over me. I knew the Olympians were my home. Not long after that epiphany I had a dream of owls. I rarely remember my dreams, but I’ve come to learn they are the last resort messengers from my deities when I’ve failed to pay attention to the signs in my day to day life. In this one I was swarmed by owls–so many! Amid the flurry around me an exceptionally large owl flew in and up to me. I knew immediately it was Athena. She was laying direct claim to me as one of Hers. I’d spent so much time denying that the patron goddess of so many heroes in the mythologies would be mine, but here we were. I was irrefutably Hers and She wasn’t going to let me ignore or deny that any longer.

Facing the Shadows

Back at the end of 2017 I found myself racing towards what I now can recognize as a neurodivergence-related burnout breakdown, though at the time I assumed it was a depression-related spiral and spent months prior attempting to find the meds that would bring me back into balance. In actuality I had overextended myself professionally for far too long, and my mind and body were paying the price. Meds weren’t going to fix the burnout, and they didn’t. I took time off from the hospitality industry and shut down completely for a few months before going back into a low-pressure position part time for a while. During that time off the only things that would get me out of bed were yoga classes and rehearsals of the community choir group I had just signed up for. I was attending yoga 6-7 times a week during this stretch, and then would promptly curl right back up in my bed or under the blankets of the couch where the cat would snuggle me. Between yoga and reconnecting with my most loved creative outlet and a new online community a friend had introduced me to (shoutout to my Stratejoy sisters and Holiday Council) I eventually started to come back to balance.

During this period of time I had a moment of clarity. I came across the menu from my 30th birthday dinner at Alinea (hey–when you’re a high level hospitality professional your milestone dinners are a little bit epic; three years later we went to Eleven Madison Park for my husband’s 30th). One of the courses had been Burn Morels–a rare treat because they only grow in areas that have been decimated by fire. They’re among the first regrowth, pushing through the ashes of destruction, and are so gorgeous to experience. I had been feeling Persephone strongly through this time and was reconnecting with my tarot work to help me through what was going on with me. She was burning me down to ashes and forcing me to face my shadows to show me I could build myself back, just as the forest would regrow–stronger and more complete than before. I recalled writings of Jung on the shadow self. This was when there was only a very small group talking about shadow work, and there was little to be found on how to engage with it. I clearly felt the pull from Persephone that this was a thing that was going to be central to my devotion of Her in the community around me. I started a group on Facebook, Persephone Calling, hoping to build a space for people who needed support in their own personal shadow work journeys. It’s since grown into a more general Persephone-centric space with over 700 members. Since starting the group I’ve also developed out my shadow work offerings and regularly share them privately there. Soon I’ll be sharing them here, too. That is, after all, a core piece of what She asks of me for my community.

(Re)Born in Fire

For many years I’d wanted to attend a silent retreat, and this past November finally offered me that opportunity. I went into the retreat mainly looking for a place of quiet contemplation and a bit of peace from rejoining the world of hospitality management earlier in the year. I anticipated maybe spending a bit of time with one of my other core deities, Aphrodite (another story to tell another day) because She’d been pressing me for some extra attention, but Persephone came in with a force and I spent the weekend mostly centered around Her. At a guided meditation and visualization that centered around our spirit guides Athena showed up in a rare appearance to give me the permission I didn’t realize I needed to accept the call to priestesshood from Persephone which I’d been sidestepping for 30 years. In the visualization Athena reminded me that accepting a call from another deity would not change our relationship, and that I was always Hers first, and She would always be present for me–just as She has always been. I’d often been concerned that stepping into this calling would be disrespectful to Athena as my key primary deity, and this experience gave me the affirmation I needed that it wouldn’t be, and that She fully approved and encouraged this shift. Later at the bonfire, as we’re all writing things we want to release on paper and throwing it to the fire, I felt Persephone’s voice behind me, whispering into my ear and asking me if we would finally be doing this and if I would finally accept Her call…and now here we are.

Moving Forward

Since I chose to accept Her call, I’ve been working out what that might look like as a mostly solitary practitioner and with very little in-person religious community–there are many of us, but we’re pretty spread out. I’m grateful to have a couple of local friends to occasionally celebrate festivals with. Now, I know my calling is not only for those called to Persephone and the Olympians or Chthonic deities, but for my larger life community also. I am an End of Life Doula, I am a Full Spectrum Doula, I am an advisor and guide for those working through transitions and working to find their own balance of dark and light, and all of that is available to anyone. While my calling may be grounded in one particular religious tradition it encompasses all around me and does not require religious devotion of those who seek what I have to offer and share.

As I move into a public sphere with my call, I am still working out what this might look like on the day to day. I would be grateful for your feedback on what you might expect or like to have from a modern priestess occupying this type of space. Please share your thoughts and wishes in the comments here!

What to Expect

Fair warning, while I have formal educational background in studying and analyzing the religion of the Hellenistic Greeks I am not a reconstructionist and you will not find reconstructionist practices discussed in detail here. I am of the firm belief that without bringing practice into the modern world and in modern ways they will die out. I have great appreciation and respect for the original practices, and am so impressed with those who carry those practices on to the best of their ability, but that is not the work I am called to do. The gods are timeless and reflective of those who worship them, so I believe my worship should also be reflective of the current world around us.

So what will you find here? Discussion on what it means to be called as a modern priestess of Persephone, of course. Embracing the liminal and what it is to be a person who embraces those liminal spaces. Discussion surrounding death and end of life. Discussion on shadow work, sometimes including shadow work draw offerings with the tarot, as it’s one significant way I honor Persephone and I plan to regularly share some of those readings for you all. Discussion on how the gods have shown up in my life and my relationships with those I am closest to. Discussion of modern media surrounding the Hades and Persephone mythologies and discussion of the mythology both classic and modern. How Persephone shows up to those of us who devote ourselves to Her, and so very much more, including things you might like to see addressed on here. Please don’t hesitate to drop comments with topics you might like to see discussed here–after all, as a priestess I am here to show up for my community and to address the things important to those who count themselves among my community.

I also work full-time in hospitality management, and so my energy gets a little scattered sometimes. I’m not the most fabulous at keeping up with things that require so much writing and attention from me, but this is pretty different from anything I’ve embarked on before so I’m hopeful to keep this space updated regularly. I’m still figuring out the best way to keep followers updated on new additions to this writing, so stay tuned if you want to keep updated.

Hail Persephone, and brightest welcome to you all!